A Hairy BBQ

by Gina
(No. California)

About a year ago, my stepdaughter came to live with us permanently. Upon her arrival, we noticed that she had braids with extensions which looked like they were way overdue to be taken out.

Her father and I took them down together and we noticed that parts of her hair were coming out and a lot of the braids were dreading. She started to cry. Being 12 years old and having pieces of your hair come out is hard.

We decided to send her to my stylist who I have been going to for several years, and she has teenage daughters too, so she’s very experienced with young girls, their hair and how it translates to image. She was shocked what she found. A young 12 year old girl shouldn’t have hair this chemically damaged. It was over-processed and under-processed at the same time.

She suggested two things: either get it relaxed professionally and be diligent about maintaining it and keep up with trimming, or just keep it in braids and let it grow out…either way, it was going to break off.

Her father decided to get it cut and relaxed. Well, she was going to the salon to have it done and in between services, I would suggest what she should do as far as styling. I told her about using the flat iron occasionally and to wrap it up at night and to oil it periodically.

Not sure where it went wrong. I noticed that she was using the flat iron EVERYDAY (even the next day after a salon visit) and she would wash her hair and not put any oil in it so it would be dry as a bone. Our stylist was telling me, make sure she oils it and stays away from heat because there were signs that serious damage was on the horizon. After 6 months, her hair was growing, and it was no longer at the bottom of her cheek, it was touching her shoulder now.

I thought everything was good until one day, she asked if I would flat iron her hair for her. When she sat down, noticed that one side of her hair was about 3 inches shorter than the other. I was puzzled. So I told her, “Whatever it is you are doing, STOP IT!” Needless to say, her next visit to the salon was a disaster. The 3 inches she grew out had to be cut off due to excessive heat damage. Once again, our stylist told her what to do and what not to do. And by now, she has seen the damage that can be done by flat irons.

Now, it’s been a little over a year that she’s been with us, and I have been telling her about avoiding the heat. There have been several mornings when we would smell burning hair down the hallway. I told her father just so he would know what’s going on. So now we are about to start school shopping and getting things ready for the big day. She was styling her hair and when I walked by she showed me an area where her hair was shorter than the other side - once again, 3 inches gone. I didn’t know what to say.

So I made an appointment for a service since school was starting. I had her father call the stylist while she was working on her hair just to get an idea. Basically, she was using the flat iron everyday and every night. It was so oily that it was greasy and that she had to cut 3 – 4 inches off her head to make it look “normal”. Then she suggested taking the flat irons from her, which she had to do for her teens at home.

So a year later, she is back to square one with her hair barely at her cheek AGAIN, when she was on her way to having it past her shoulders. Her father had to lecture her and tell her that he was taking the flat irons until next year when he can see it getting better. I was so shocked when he told me the very next day; she asked to use her flat irons after all that she experienced with the hair damage. At the rate she was going, she was going to have to wear a wig. When we told her that, she said “So!” I know she is angry, but it’s like that sometimes when you’re a kid. Hopefully this is the last “Road to Recovery” we will have to go down.