I have very thin, fine, and soft hair.

by Belinda
(Illinois)

I got my first relaxer very young, age 6. My mom was in and out of the hospital with diabetes and couldn't always care for my hair. She thought going to my aunt's stylist every 2 weeks would have my hair manageable for me and my dad.

I have transition somewhat a couple of times. I got my my relaxed hair cut out back in 80s for a moment, but I got another relaxer after that. I got my hair dyed honey blond and textured back in 2000. Soon after than I got a relaxer again.

I'm currently wearing a relaxer. My hair is very thin, fine, and soft. It damaged, uneven and very short. I'm not good with hair. I have worn weave for years, glue and sew in. I have tried many products that were recommended but I'm not sure if I was using them correctly. I used several together not knowing what's working and what's not.

Currently my hair is breaking. I am a diabetic and I just recently had surgery. I've been on medications, but I'm not sure if that's a part of the problem.

I have had my share of stressful periods in my life. I am a single mom with 2 boys who we're born with heart disease and live most of their toddler years with it. I lost my dad to cancer in 95, my mom and 3 of her sisters to complications of diabetes and her brother from 96-98. I cared for my dad, my mom and my mom's sister under her while caring for my sons. I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2001. I had to quite my job and became homeless in 2003 with my sons.

Needless to say I didn't know how to focus or take time for me. I entered a transitional housing program for 2 years and began working again. I worked 60-80 hours a week and still cared for my boys. Well I got very ill the end of 2008 with a frozen shoulder from complications of diabetes. I have been off work this year. I had surgery on my shoulder and also my mouth. I have a peridontal disease from the diabetes also.

In spite of it all I always been told that I don't look my age. I'm always mistaken for my children sibling instead of parent. But I am so self consciousn with my hair and teeth. I decided to focus on me now that my sons are 18 & 20. My youngest son graduated high school in june of this year.

I also have what I called an adopted daughter who is 26 and has a 6mos old son ( who is just adorable). I have always felt guilty when I invest too much time and finance in myself. I always think about what my kids need. But I think nature has allowed me to see that I must invest in me. But because this isn't me, I don't really know how and where to start. I know this is about my hair, but my story may help shine light on what we are working with.

I also dream of getting a complete makeover so I can be the strong and spirit-filled person that I am on the inside on the outside. But the thought of what it cost. I am in the beginning stages of my dental makeover and had to place it on hold because of finances. I promise my self I would not give up. Maybe this is a step in staying committed to investing in myself by contacting you for advice and possible accountability with support. Well thank you for your time and most of all your passion!


-------------------

Nina's Response

Hello Belinda,

Thank you for sharing your story! It is wonderful to hear how someone has gone through very rough times but has survived it and is looking forward to what the future holds. I am glad that you have decided to focus on yourself. And yes, taking better care of your hair is part of that. Hair is like an accessory. Sometimes if nothing else looks good at least you can have beautiful, healthy hair.

The first thing you need to do is focus on your hair's health. I would suggest that you stop wearing weaves of any kind and get to know your real hair. This way you can determine what your hair needs which is most likely some TLC right now. That means starting off with a good shampoo and deep conditioning treatment followed by a professional trim to get rid of the damaged hair and split ends. From there, you'll need to continue taking good care of your hair. I'm listing a few pages on my site that should be able to help you in your journey.

How to Grow Healthy Hair

Stop Hair Problems

Shampoo Your Hair Correctly

Deep Conditioning